My idea is this: words count and intentions can be promoted with language. Everyone, from the smallest child to the crustiest administrator takes a pledge in public at the start of every new term. It sets the intention and is also a promise to be cherished and kept.
Administrators
“I promise to do whatever I can to keep you safe. Any time someone hurts you, by action or by words, anytime someone threatens you, even if it is a teacher, your parent or another student, I want you to come to me as soon as it happens and tell me. I promise not to leave the school that day until the problem is handled and you feel safe.
I promise to be very careful about what people can bring to school. I will do my very best to keep anyone from bringing weapons. I promise to teach people not to be violent or verbally mean and to remove people who are unkind to others. I want this to be a safe place for children and for adults. I will do whatever I think necessary to keep us all safe. Sometimes you might not like the choices I make, but I will always keep in mind the important thing, which is that you live in a safe place.
I will not allow any individual to cause harm to others in this school. Also, I will not allow any individual to be mistreated or bullied. You must tell me if that happens, because I cannot know everything that happens unless someone tells me. I need your help for this.”
Your physical and mental safety is more important than the facts you learn or the grades you get. It is most important that everyone in this school will learn and practice kindness to others, will know the importance of being fair and will be able to trust that kindness and fairness will be present in this school. My priority is that everyone in this school, even parents, will be as healthy and happy was we can be. My promise to all of you is to do everything I can to make that a reality.”
Teachers to Student
“I promise to be fair and to be kind to you. Sometimes I will have to say No, or to insist on things you don’t like, but I won’t do it to be mean. If you think I am being unfair or unkind to you, you may talk to me or the principal about it.
I expect you to be fair and kind to other students. You probably won’t like everyone, but that doesn’t mean you can be cruel to them. I expect you to tell me right away if someone else is mean to you, or frightens you, so I can help you. That person might be a student, or someone younger than you, or a parent or another teacher. It doesn’t matter: I need to know, and we will solve the problem together.
I will try to pay a lot of attention to how you treat each other: that is the most important thing in being I this school. But I can’t be everywhere or see everything. If someone is being bullied, if it’s you or someone else, please tell me, so I can help you. If people are being mean by gossiping or using social media, it is your job to tell me, so we can stop the problem together.
If you are feeling angry or scared, please come and tell me right away. We will all be learning how to handle our feelings so we don’t hurt each other or ourselves, and so we can have happy lives. I will sometimes get angry, and when I do, I will tell you. But I won’t let it make me be mean. We can all handle our feelings while still keeping ourselves and each other safe. I promise to do whatever I can to keep you safe when I am angry and when you are angry.
Teacher to Teachers & Administrators
“I promise not to allow any kind of bullying; physical, verbal or emotional in this school. As soon as I become aware of an unkindness of any sort, between children or adults, I will take swift action to get help and address the problem. I will not try to solve these problems on my own, but will bring them to the community. If someone bullies me, I will seek help immediately.
If I believe a child is being bullied / abused away from school, even by siblings or parents, even if it is not physical, I will bring it to this community and ask for help.
I promise to focus first on how the children are doing in terms of their safety, their health and their relationships. I acknowledge that grades are not as important as raising children who are emotionally resilient, who understand and value kindness and fairness. If I have to choose these emotional skills over academic ones at any time, I will always put the emotional skills first.
Bus Drivers to Children
It is my job to keep you safe. If I see anyone being mean to you, I will stop them and I will tell the teachers and the principal. You are not allowed to save seats on the bus, and you are not allowed to keep someone else from sitting down beside you. You must practice kindness on this bus, and so will I. If I get angry, I will say so, but I won’t be unfair or mean. Driving takes some focus and there will be times that I will demand quiet, and tell everyone to sit down. That is part of keeping us all safe, and so it’s my job.
If someone gets on the bus with a weapon or with drugs, I want to know about it as soon as you can tell me. If you’re afraid to tell alone, tell two or more other kids and then all tell me together. The important thing is that we remove weapons or drugs as soon as we can from our school.
If someone is mean to you or scares while you’re waiting for the bus or riding the bus, please tell me right away. If someone does something that makes you angry, tell me and we will talk about it. Most of the time, just talking about being angry is enough to make you feel better. It is very important to me to know that everyone who rides my bus feels safe and is safe.
I promise to do everything I can to make sure we are all safe. I work with other grownups to handle problems, and I need your help. I may not see everything that happens, but you can tell me, and I will take action.
Parents
I promise not to keep any weapons in the house, or anywhere a child could access them. I promise to seek help through the school if I experience problems with controlling my anger, or the anger of anyone in the household, or if I see my child is angry or afraid. I agree that it is more important to raise our children in a safe environment than it is to teach them facts or make them competitive. I will do whatever I can as a parent to help my children learn how to handle difficult feelings in a safe and sane way.
If my child is having problems, I will contact her or his teacher and principal as soon as I am aware there is a problem.
Children
I promise never to hurt anyone, not by actions or by mean words, even if I am very angry. If I am angry or afraid, I promise to tell at least two people right away and ask them to help me.
If I see someone else being hurt, I will help, even if I am afraid. I will call for help. If I will help them run away if I can. I will be brave. If I am bring hurt or frightened, I will ask for help right away. I will tell an adult –any adult—a teacher, a parent, a bus driver, a secretary—and I will ask for help from other kids.
If I think someone might hurt someone else but it hasn’t happened yet, I will tell an adult and ask for help. I will not keep any secrets. I know that when bad things are kept secret, they get worse and the problems can’t be solved unless many people work to solve them.
If I am afraid of someone, I will ask for help from the first person I see. I will never protect a bully, and I will never be a bully. I know that if I make fun of someone or try to make them feel bad, it can make them angry and sick. I will be courteous, even if I don’t like someone. I will not be rude.
I have the right to be safe. The other students and adults in this school have the right to be safe, too. I will do whatever I can to help us all stay safe and be happy and healthy together.
Administrators
“I promise to do whatever I can to keep you safe. Any time someone hurts you, by action or by words, anytime someone threatens you, even if it is a teacher, your parent or another student, I want you to come to me as soon as it happens and tell me. I promise not to leave the school that day until the problem is handled and you feel safe.
I promise to be very careful about what people can bring to school. I will do my very best to keep anyone from bringing weapons. I promise to teach people not to be violent or verbally mean and to remove people who are unkind to others. I want this to be a safe place for children and for adults. I will do whatever I think necessary to keep us all safe. Sometimes you might not like the choices I make, but I will always keep in mind the important thing, which is that you live in a safe place.
I will not allow any individual to cause harm to others in this school. Also, I will not allow any individual to be mistreated or bullied. You must tell me if that happens, because I cannot know everything that happens unless someone tells me. I need your help for this.”
Your physical and mental safety is more important than the facts you learn or the grades you get. It is most important that everyone in this school will learn and practice kindness to others, will know the importance of being fair and will be able to trust that kindness and fairness will be present in this school. My priority is that everyone in this school, even parents, will be as healthy and happy was we can be. My promise to all of you is to do everything I can to make that a reality.”
Teachers to Student
“I promise to be fair and to be kind to you. Sometimes I will have to say No, or to insist on things you don’t like, but I won’t do it to be mean. If you think I am being unfair or unkind to you, you may talk to me or the principal about it.
I expect you to be fair and kind to other students. You probably won’t like everyone, but that doesn’t mean you can be cruel to them. I expect you to tell me right away if someone else is mean to you, or frightens you, so I can help you. That person might be a student, or someone younger than you, or a parent or another teacher. It doesn’t matter: I need to know, and we will solve the problem together.
I will try to pay a lot of attention to how you treat each other: that is the most important thing in being I this school. But I can’t be everywhere or see everything. If someone is being bullied, if it’s you or someone else, please tell me, so I can help you. If people are being mean by gossiping or using social media, it is your job to tell me, so we can stop the problem together.
If you are feeling angry or scared, please come and tell me right away. We will all be learning how to handle our feelings so we don’t hurt each other or ourselves, and so we can have happy lives. I will sometimes get angry, and when I do, I will tell you. But I won’t let it make me be mean. We can all handle our feelings while still keeping ourselves and each other safe. I promise to do whatever I can to keep you safe when I am angry and when you are angry.
Teacher to Teachers & Administrators
“I promise not to allow any kind of bullying; physical, verbal or emotional in this school. As soon as I become aware of an unkindness of any sort, between children or adults, I will take swift action to get help and address the problem. I will not try to solve these problems on my own, but will bring them to the community. If someone bullies me, I will seek help immediately.
If I believe a child is being bullied / abused away from school, even by siblings or parents, even if it is not physical, I will bring it to this community and ask for help.
I promise to focus first on how the children are doing in terms of their safety, their health and their relationships. I acknowledge that grades are not as important as raising children who are emotionally resilient, who understand and value kindness and fairness. If I have to choose these emotional skills over academic ones at any time, I will always put the emotional skills first.
Bus Drivers to Children
It is my job to keep you safe. If I see anyone being mean to you, I will stop them and I will tell the teachers and the principal. You are not allowed to save seats on the bus, and you are not allowed to keep someone else from sitting down beside you. You must practice kindness on this bus, and so will I. If I get angry, I will say so, but I won’t be unfair or mean. Driving takes some focus and there will be times that I will demand quiet, and tell everyone to sit down. That is part of keeping us all safe, and so it’s my job.
If someone gets on the bus with a weapon or with drugs, I want to know about it as soon as you can tell me. If you’re afraid to tell alone, tell two or more other kids and then all tell me together. The important thing is that we remove weapons or drugs as soon as we can from our school.
If someone is mean to you or scares while you’re waiting for the bus or riding the bus, please tell me right away. If someone does something that makes you angry, tell me and we will talk about it. Most of the time, just talking about being angry is enough to make you feel better. It is very important to me to know that everyone who rides my bus feels safe and is safe.
I promise to do everything I can to make sure we are all safe. I work with other grownups to handle problems, and I need your help. I may not see everything that happens, but you can tell me, and I will take action.
Parents
I promise not to keep any weapons in the house, or anywhere a child could access them. I promise to seek help through the school if I experience problems with controlling my anger, or the anger of anyone in the household, or if I see my child is angry or afraid. I agree that it is more important to raise our children in a safe environment than it is to teach them facts or make them competitive. I will do whatever I can as a parent to help my children learn how to handle difficult feelings in a safe and sane way.
If my child is having problems, I will contact her or his teacher and principal as soon as I am aware there is a problem.
Children
I promise never to hurt anyone, not by actions or by mean words, even if I am very angry. If I am angry or afraid, I promise to tell at least two people right away and ask them to help me.
If I see someone else being hurt, I will help, even if I am afraid. I will call for help. If I will help them run away if I can. I will be brave. If I am bring hurt or frightened, I will ask for help right away. I will tell an adult –any adult—a teacher, a parent, a bus driver, a secretary—and I will ask for help from other kids.
If I think someone might hurt someone else but it hasn’t happened yet, I will tell an adult and ask for help. I will not keep any secrets. I know that when bad things are kept secret, they get worse and the problems can’t be solved unless many people work to solve them.
If I am afraid of someone, I will ask for help from the first person I see. I will never protect a bully, and I will never be a bully. I know that if I make fun of someone or try to make them feel bad, it can make them angry and sick. I will be courteous, even if I don’t like someone. I will not be rude.
I have the right to be safe. The other students and adults in this school have the right to be safe, too. I will do whatever I can to help us all stay safe and be happy and healthy together.